Dear Two Fat Als

One April Fool's Day, my parents sent me a letter informing me that I had been selected as the next advice columnist for American Girl Magazine. I cried when I found out the truth. It has always been my dream to provide cliched, written counsel to those in need -- and anyone else who will take it.

Why is this relevant? Well, it is with great pleasure that we announce: Dear Two Fat Als -- a food and cooking advice column! The idea is inspired by one of my very best friends, who submitted our first inquiry. Are we qualified? Depends. Are we going to launch it anyway? Most definitely. PLEASE send us questions at alannak@sas.upenn.edu. Please.

Dear Two Fat Als,

I was recently baking a cake with two friends for an upcoming birthday party. We were all particularly excited about using festive funfetti frosting to top it off. In an attempt to make myself useful, I decided to prepare the frosting as I had always thought funfetti frosting should be prepared: by stirring in the sprinkles. But no sooner had the sprinkles hit the frosting than I was greeted by horrified screams from my co-bakers. Apparently they are of the frost-then-sprinkle funfetti persuasian and were convinced I ruined the cake. I have been conducting something of a survey amongst friends and family, and have discovered that this is a surprisingly contentious and divisive issue. I have also done some preliminary internet searches and visited the Pillsbury website but found nothing conclusive. I am hoping that you will be able to put this matter to rest once and for all.

Bewildered in Bethesda

Dear Bewildered,

Two Fat Als are thrilled to see that you are using funfetti, which we love. In fact, it was the first dish that we prepared for Alex's Korean subletter, Eunjoo, to introduce her to the wonders of American cuisine. To respond to your question, we are of the strong opinion that mixing funfetti into the frosting is completely acceptable, and even encouraged. Firstly, this allows the funfetti to soften slightly, making it all the more fun. Secondly, once softened, funfetti will melt slightly into the icing and create a light swirling effect. Happy Birthday to your friend, and we're sure that the funfetti will be a hit!

Two Fat Als